4, 21 Guns
by Musical Nerd 29
Summary: Iceland has always been alone. When Hong Kong comes into his life he can't help but feel scared and unsure of this new relationship. When Hong Kong's true feelings are brought to light, will Iceland be able to continue living on?


**Hi there people who actually are reading this~ Merry Christmas (even though that was a few days ago) and Happy Holidays! This isn't really a Christmas story but it has Iceland in it and you know, cold weather and that junk. Anyway, I hope you like this~ You should also read the other stories in my 21 guns series!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Hetalia it'd be a yaoi, since it's not, I obviously own nothing. The song 21 Guns is also not mine. **

4, 21 Guns

Feather like snowflakes of different patterns lightly fell upon the ground dusting Iceland's silver hair with white. His violet eyes peering through the dark as he stood alone in his backyard looking up at the empty ink colored night sky. He let out a shaky breath as a few tears escaped his eyes. They were neither the first nor the last to fall that night.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid…" Iceland whispered to himself over and over again as more tears began to fall. He fell to his knees in the snow his body shivering violently. He couldn't bring himself to care if he was cold or even dying; he screwed up and couldn't fix it.

"Why, why do I have to be so empty inside?" Iceland asked himself quietly as he thought back to the events early today that led to his state now.

_~Flashback of Awesomeness~_

Iceland was sitting in his cozy living room like he does every other day drinking a cup of coffee. He stared blankly at the TV; bored out of his mind he just sat there motionless. His puffin, Mr. Puffin flew over and landed on Iceland's leg and tilted his head questioningly. Iceland stared back stoically before the bird flew away. Iceland sighed.

"Dumb bird just wanted food probably." Iceland said to himself. He went back to starring and not really watching the TV when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

"Who's texting me? The only person I ever get texts from is Norway." Iceland said shocked. He pulled out his phone and flipped it open.

"Hong Kong…." Iceland read as he opened the text. He had recently started talking to the Asian nation whenever they had a UN meeting. Iceland usually didn't like to talk to anyone there, not even his brother, and when he met Hong Kong he truthfully didn't want to talk to him either. Iceland had pretty much ignored Hong Kong when they first met, but Hong Kong wouldn't have any of it. He made it his sole purpose at those meetings to annoy Iceland or try and get him to talk. Eventually, Iceland got sick of it and ended up yelling at Hong Kong during a break at a meeting. Hong Kong just smiled and replied "You finally talked to me" and ruffled Iceland's hair. Somehow the two actually did end up talking and after Hong Kong demanded Iceland's cell number, they started texting occasionally. Iceland, who was used to being almost always alone, was a little uncomfortable when talking or texting with Hong Kong; he never knew what to say without sounding stupid.

Hong Kong on the other hand was addicted to texting Iceland since he was the first friend he ever really had outside of his "family" and they annoyed him way too much. He would text Iceland whenever he could, now being one of those times. Iceland opened the text and read it silently.

"_Hey Ice, u free 2day? We should hang out" _Iceland stared at his phone screen for a long time almost as if trying to force the message to disappear or change. This was at least the fiftieth message in the past two months from Hong Kong if Iceland wanted to hang out. Iceland had ignored every single one of them, and this one was no different. He slammed his phone shut and threw it on the pillow next to him. It wasn't that he didn't like Hong Kong; he just didn't know what he would do when they did hang out. He's never really had a friend before and truthfully didn't want one. Or so he tried to tell himself.

Iceland knew deep inside him was the constant ache of loneliness and abandonment. But he refused to admit that it was there and continued to push the feeling deeper inside of him, only waiting for something to snap within him and let that loneliness flood out.

His phone vibrated again and Iceland ignored it. Then it vibrated again, and again, and again, and finally Iceland opened his phone to look at the messages.

"_I kno ur awake Ice, u can never sleep any l8r than this." _Iceland blushed slightly at this text. He started feeling a little sick to his stomach; probably because of the fact someone knew his routine so well.

"_Ice, stop ignoring me, u already told me u had off evry sat. y dont u evr answr me nymore?" _Iceland began to feel slightly guilty and even sicker. He didn't want to be mean or rude, he just didn't know what to do.

"_If u dont wanna talk 2 me nymore at least tell me. I just wantd 2 b ur friend" _Iceland's guilt grew larger as he read. He didn't want Hog Kong to be sad, but why did Hong Kong even want to be his friend?

"_Ok, u kno wut, fine. This is the last time I'll txt u. If u want to hang out txt me bac if not, I'll leav u alone."_ Iceland bit his lip frustrated. He didn't know what he should do. If he just ignored the messages everything would go back to normal accept for some awkwardness at the UN meetings. But, he didn't really want things to go back to the way they were. He sighed as he flipped his phone and texted Hong Kong back.

"_If u want 2 hang out u can come over in 2 hours" _Iceland sent the text and waited anxiously for Hong Komg's relpy.

"_Cool, I'll b at ur place then. C u l8r ;)" _Iceland scowled at the emoticon at the end of the text. Hong Kong was always putting those winking faces at the end of his texts and Iceland really didn't understand why. What was there to wink about? He didn't know, but he did know he should go get a shower and change before his friend came over. So he went upstairs and did just that.

_~Time skip of Prussia level Awesomeness~_

Iceland paced nervously in his living room. Hong Kong was supposed to be here any minute and he was really starting to regret saying he could come over. Norway always thought Iceland had social anxiety, but Iceland had always denied it. That is until now. The doorbell rang and Iceland took a deep breath before walking to the front door. He opened the door to reveal Hong Kong. His messy bed-head brown hair partially fell in front of his coffee colored eyes. He was wearing his usual long red silk shirt with gold trim and black pants. He also had a large maroon winter jacket on.

"Hey." Hong Kong said.

"Hi." Iceland replied as he opened the door wider so Hong Kong could walk in. He could already feel the awkwardness between them, and he didn't like it one bit. They both walked to the living room and sat down on the couch.

"So, what do you wanna do?" Hong Kong asked looking over to Iceland who shrugged.

"I don't know…." Iceland trailed off awkwardly. Hong Kong chuckled and ruffled Iceland's hair.

"You really are awkward aren't you?" Hong Kong asked teasingly. Iceland looked down at his lap and attempted to hide his light blush. Hong Kong poked his cheek and just smirked.

"That's ok though. You got video games?" Hong Kong asked.

"Yeah, I do." Iceland said getting up and setting up his Xbox so they could play Call Of Duty. He handed Hong Kong a controller and sat next to him as the game came on and they started to play.

About an hour of playing COD Hong Kong randomly decided to break their comfortable silence.

"You know, you're cute when you blush." This cause Iceland to blush even more and Hong Kong to smile slightly.

After a few hours of playing COD and other video games Hong Kong declared he was tired of playing video games. So now, they sat on the couch silently again thinking of what to do.

"Wanna go for a walk?" Hong Kong suggested. Iceland looked over at him curiously. He thought that was something couples did, but then again, he wouldn't really know.

"Sure, why not." Iceland replied. They both got up and put their jackets on and started walking into the snow covered woods behind Iceland's house. They walked in silence for a while which surprisingly wasn't as awkward as Iceland thought it was going to be. That was before Hong Kong started asking questions.

"Why have you been ignoring me for the past two months?" Hong Kong asked almost in a whisper as if afraid to scare Iceland away. Iceland stopped walking and looked down at his feet. Hong Kong stopped in front of him and waited for him to answer.

"….I was scared…." Iceland answered truthfully in a small whisper.

"Scared? Of what? Me?" Hong Kong asked.

"No, not exactly…" Iceland answered.

"Then what? Did I do something wrong?" Hong Kong asked. Iceland heard the slightest bit of hurt and worry mixed into Hong Kong's usually monotone voice.

"No, I just…I'm just not used to anyone wanting to be around me or hanging out with me. And the thought of spending time with someone scared me….it's pretty stupid though I guess" Iceland said, his voice laced with sadness.

"It's not stupid. I get it. Although how people aren't naturally drawn to you is beyond me." Hong Kong replied. Iceland looked up to his friend confused. A light blush dusting his cheeks.

"What….?" Iceland asked.

"I don't know how people aren't naturally drawn to you. You're adorable, smart, and sexy." Hong Kong said his usual emotionless face constantly staying the same. Iceland's face went bright red as he looked to his side.

"Why are you saying that stuff?" He asked quietly.

"Because it's the truth. At least I think it's the truth." Hong Kong answered shrugging. Iceland's head shot up and looked at Hong Kong shocked.

"Y-You think I'm…." Iceland didn't finish but Hong Kong nodded in reply. Hong Kong brought a hand up and cupped Iceland's cheek lightly. Iceland stared wide eyed at his friend.

"You know how I said I just wanted to be your friend? Well I lied, I want to be a lot more than your friend." Hong Kong said smiling slightly.

"B-But, why?!" Iceland asked raising his voice slightly out of frustration. He couldn't comprehend why someone would ever want to be with someone as awkward and unpleasant as him. He also didn't understand why he got butterflies all of the sudden. He didn't want a friend, let alone a relationship with someone.

"Like I said, you're adorable, smart and sexy. But you're also a mystery to me. You act like you don't care but it's obvious to me at least how lonely and sad you are. Even if you won't admit it, I don't want you to be lonely anymore." Hong Kong explained as his thumb gently began to stroke Iceland's cheek. Iceland's eyes darted back and forth. The confusion and frustration he felt was overwhelming. He didn't know whether to punch Hong Kong or hug him and never let go. He suddenly felt very angry though. Angry at himself for just being the way he is, and angry at Hong Kong for assuming he knew about Iceland. Even though what he said was true, Iceland refused to admit it to himself or anyone else. He was so conflicted as to what to do he felt like screaming. So he did.

"Get off of me!" He pushed Hong Kong backwards and Hong Kong landed on his butt in the snow and looked up to Iceland shocked.

"You don't know me and you never will! I don't need someone to feel pity on me! I'm perfectly happy alone!" Iceland yelled as he clenched his hands into fists.

"Hey, ok I'm sorry. I just wanted you to be happy…" Hong Kong said quietly in a sad voice as he stood up and looked at his feet.

"I was happy before you had to come and bug me! Ever since you came into my life I'm always either worried or mad!" Iceland yelled.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know. You could've just told me. But if you want me gone, than I'm gone." Hong Kong said sadly, silently praying in his mind Iceland would ask him to stay.

"Good! Just go!" Iceland yelled pointing back the way they had come. Hong Kong looked down at his feet and started walking back.

"Ok, goodbye Ice. If you ever change your mind, you know where to find me…." Hong Kong said trying to rid his voice of the crushing sadness he felt. Iceland didn't reply, so Hong Kong drug his feet sadly back to Iceland's house where he promptly left before anyone could see the tears forming in his eyes.

Iceland stood in the woods for almost thirty minutes before he started walking home almost lifelessly. He couldn't believe he had just done that. He didn't mean to hurt Hong Kong like that.

"Oh well, what's done is done. Now everything will be normal. I'll be happy and stress free, and Hong Kong will just forget about me…." Iceland said to himself trying to convince himself his own words were true.

By the time Iceland got back to his house it was already dark out. He took off his jacket and walked into his living room. That's when he saw a sketch book. _It must be Hong Kong's, did he have it when he came in? _Iceland thought picking up the sketch book. He opened it and looked through some of the drawings. They were of animals (mostly pandas) some sketches of fireworks and of skyscrapers which Iceland assumed were buildings in Hong Kong. About half way through the sketch book Iceland nearly dropped the book when he saw the picture. It was of him, just sitting at a UN meeting. _He drew me?_ Iceland thought confused. He looked through the rest of the sketch book. Every page from that picture had a drawing of Iceland on it. Most were just pictures thought up by Hong Kong and not actual things he has done. He felt those same butterflies again and his heart swell as he looked through the pictures.

"He really did care a lot…" Iceland thought as he flipped to the last page of the sketch book. He felt his heart skip a beat. It was a picture of what Hong Kong thought Iceland would look like his he was laughing. Iceland couldn't really remember the last time he had actually laughed.

"Hong Kong wanted to see me like this, and I just yelled at him…." Iceland set the sketch book down as tears started to trickle down his cheeks. The dam that had held back all those years of loneliness and sadness had finally burst and now Iceland could do was drop onto the couch and cry. He stayed on the couch with his knees pulled up to his chest bawling for almost an hour before something inside of him made him get up and walk outside.

_~Present Time~_

Iceland didn't know what to do. He couldn't just sit on his knees in the snow without a jacket on all night, but he also couldn't bring himself to move. He was tired, emotionally and physically. He just wanted to lie down here in the snow and cry until he finally got to sleep. He wrapped his arms around himself. Not for warmth, but the feeling of someone being there with. He wasn't dub though, he know he would always be alone without anyone to hold him. He shuddered and cried more at those thoughts.

Iceland once again pulled his knees to his chest and buried his face into his knees. He was so cold, and not from the snow. His body already felt numb and he couldn't stop shaking. _I'm just going to die here aren't I? Oh well, it's not like anyone would miss me. _Iceland thought shivering violently. He could feel his eyes starting to droop. He was relieved slightly, at least now he wouldn't have to deal with this pain. Just as he was about to fall into what he hoped was an endless sleep, Iceland felt something warm being wrapped around him and someone pulling him. He tried to make out who was carrying him, but is eyes refused to stay open. He heard someone yelling his name, begging him to stay awake. He wanted to listen to the voice, but he just couldn't. His eyes fell shut and he drifted off to sleep.

_~Le Time Skip~_

Iceland's eyes opened slowly as he slowly began to wake up. _Where am I? Am I dead?_ As Iceland thought this he realized he wasn't dead, and he was lying in his bed only in his boxers. Iceland was very confused, he didn't know how he got here; then he remembered someone had carried him inside from the snow. The question was who had bothered to come to his house in the middle of the night. He groaned slightly as he sat up and there was someone next to him almost immediately. He looked to his side to see who had helped and was met with a worried pair of brown eyes. _Hong Kong…_

"Ice are you ok? What were you doing out in the snow like that?" Hong Kong asked frantically. Iceland almost laughed at how worried Hong Kong was, but of course he had every right to be.

"Why'd you come back?" Iceland asked.

"I'm sorry, I know you don't want to see me, but I forgot my sketch book and when I came back to get it I saw you in lying in the snow. What happened?" Hong Kong asked. Iceland didn't do anything for a couple seconds, but when he did he pulled Hong Kong into a hug. Hong Kong was shocked momentarily but hugged back. Iceland buried his face in Hong Kong's shoulder as more tears started to roll down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry Hong Kong! I didn't mean any of it. I hate being alone, it scares me so much! Please don't hate me, I don't want to lose you!" Iceland cried. Hong Kong sat next to Iceland and rubbed his back comfortingly.

"Shh, it's ok Ice. I forgive you. I understand, so don't worry about it. I'll be here for you always. You don't have to be alone anymore." Hong Kong whispered affectionately. Iceland wiped his tears away and looked up to Hong Kong who placed a gentle kiss on Iceland's cheek. Iceland smiled happily for what seemed like the first time in years. The rest of the day the two just lay there in Iceland's bed talking. And when they weren't talking they sat in a comfortable silence.

**This story made me cry while writing it. So I apologize if any of you cried while reading it~ Thanx for reading and remember to review~!**

**-Musical Nerd 46**


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